During this Covid 19 pandemic, there has been a rise in teenage pregnancies. As much as I feel some of them could be as a result of molestation, I feel that most of them could be out of ignorance. Back in high school i had several of my classmates dating. As teenagers I must admit that those who used to get letters or big ups like we used to call them looked cool. I am glad at that time I was just thinking about my grades. I have decided to right this article for anyone who thinks they are ready to be in love, to gauge whether they are really ready. It is out of what I learned from my own experience, from hearing and reading peoples stories and research done in the journey of single hood. To note this is not meant to discuss the meaning of dating and courtship. It is basically meant to state a love relationship between a man and woman
- You’re okay being single. When you don’t feel the need to be in a relationship then you must be ready. There’s a difference between wanting and needing. When you want something, it means you can survive without it, but when you need something it means you’re depended on it. That is why food is a need and not a want. Being needy is one reason that causes struggles for relationships. It is good to first work on yourself, love who you are, that way you don’t get caught up in trying to feel fulfilled from another human being. The best way to get to this is to get closer to God. He will help you realize what being unconditionally loved is.
- You are not hurting from a previous relationship. If you have been through a break up, it is always wise to take time for healing. If you get into a relationship, while still hurting you will most likely carry the baggage of the previous relationship into the new one. This is called a rebound relationship. Since you had been in love, it is easy to fall for anyone else who seems to sympathize with your situation. To note this healing season is different for everyone, and it can take weeks, months or even years on different people. To avoid rebound, the best way to find solace is to run to God, and also find someone of the same gender to cry to and with. Preferably someone mature than you.
- You feel ready for marriage. This should actually have been my first point. If you’re not ready for marriage then you have no business being in a relationship. Relationships are meant to help two individuals get to know each other better, with an aim of getting married. If a relationship does not have a goal, then it is so easy to find yourself falling into the temptation of fornication. A teenager in the old days might have been ready to get marriage but in our day and age, even people in their early and some at mid twenties don’t seem ready for marriage. If you feel you’re okay getting married in the next few years, preferably two three years, then you’re ready to start dating. One way to know you’re ready age wise, is the people who genuinely love and care about you, not getting concerned, but rather excited about your desire to get into a relationship.
- You know yourself. Before you start dating it is important to know yourself, and know what you want in your life. Have personal development, and grow your self esteem. I don’t mean the “I don’t need anyone attitude” I mean the ” I am beautifully and wonderfully made”. Know your worth, that way it is not easy for someone to misuse you. When you know what you want in life, you can also tell, whom you do not want to be a part of “till death do us part”. Marriage is not the main goal in our lives. Before you get into marriage you should already be walking into your life purpose. What if Jesus comes back before you get married? Will your life be purposeless? If you have not yet realized what you’re on earth for, then it would be best to do that before you start a relationship.
I hope the few tips I have shared will be of help to you. You could share it with someone else who is single. Nowadays teenagers know a lot, so there would be no harm in sharing this with one, it could help a boy or girl choose to wait until they’re ready.