In the world today we’ve had a lot of discussions around gender equality. In the old days, girls were neglected and mistreated, but nowadays we have a lot of attention towards women empowerment. I am in support of this and I respect everyone who’s working towards helping women realize their potential, and live to leave a mark in the world. On the other hand I have had men say that the boy child is getting neglected, and on this note I have off late observed a gap regarding the boy child. I don’t know whether it was the same case in the old days but it’s quite evident in the current days. I would want to talk about marriage preparation, hopefully one person will join me and do something about it.
Just to go back to the way I grew up, and how I can relate my observation. I remember in primary school apart from my mum giving me advises here and there when i got to adolescent, our class teacher Mrs Michael, used to call us girls and give us tips on life skills. She would teach us basics on how to be better ladies in the society. When I went to high school (which was a girls school) I remember our CU patron Mr. Muthanga used to give us some talk, on what to expect in campus. I remember one quote he always told us “in campus you can either change your life for the better or for worse” from such talk I knew I had to have boundaries when i got to campus if I wanted to have a good life. I can say he prepare us psychologically for life after high school.
In getting to campus thanks to my very good friend Sarah, who organised a girls talk group, where we used to have sleep overs and we would have guest speakers to talk to us. I would say from this group is where I got to know a lot on relationships and marriage. From that group later after campus we’ve had chances to organise bridal showers and baby showers for some of us, and we would still have guest speakers to advise the bride to be, on life in marriage, and we all got some wisdom as well.
A few weeks ago I started following 50 years in marriage by Rawder Kidula and it’s been very inspiring, and one night as I watched, it just occurred to me that I had not seen similar shows for men.From my little story above, there is evident series of people walking with ladies from a very young age helping them to be better in the society, my concern is do we have similar opportunities for young men? What I have mentioned are just few of the forums I have had, but there are so many other opportunities I have had that have had a positive impact in my life, not forgetting the many books I have read about women.
I have observed that men don’t get as much attention when it comes to marriage preparation. They are kind of left to find there way, and this is why I am writing today, to challenge men both married and single to do something about this matter. I think men lucking preparation could be the reason we are finding fathers and husbands who are dysfunctional. This is because they might tend to be overwhelmed and feel intimidated by the reality that heats them in marriage. I would encourage us including ladies to recommend any forums we come across that we think could be of benefit to our men. We could recommend hoes on you tube, or books, audios etc that we know will impact them positively.
I know most men are not relational like ladies, but as far as am concerned you can learn a lot by opening up about your fears, questions, insecurities. For those who are already married you could purpose to mentor one young man, and help them be prepared for life in marriage. We could as well have grooms’ showers organised for men who are almost getting married and have a few married men give some advise and prepared the groom for marriage life.
This is just my own observation and concern, in case you are already doing something regarding this then feel most appreciated in case you have not kindly figure out what you can do, whether it’s to open up, find a men-tee, start reading books, get a grooms shower organized, just go start now . Remember relationships still work, marriages still work, it just calls for one to work towards being part of the success stories in this generation, I encourage you to be part of that success, and help others join you.